Before the big city I so longed for came Kroombit - a working cattle ranch in the middle of bloody nowhere. Our new driver, Beaver tore down the dirt track leading up to the ranch like he'd stolen the bus! We miraculously made it in one piece and cowboyed up with hats and bandanas. Tonight I was in for a treat, having left Asian priced dining behind I've spent the past few days botching the simplest of meals together in the most disgusting kitchens known to man, on one occasion I had to cook rice in a tea pot! Not tonight, tonight I was being cooked for. We started by trying a 'mystery meat', it turned out to be goat - it was just a stringier texture than beef with a similar taste. Next on the menu was a beef stew, it was delicious (not as good as my mums of course!). The main was roast beef, I can't even remember the last time I had roast but it was extremely welcome.

Thoroughly satisfied, a crazy old cowboy by the name of Alan gave us a brief history of the area which was initially settled by Scots back in the day. It was named by one of their wives, a Norwegian who named it Kroombit meaning 'crescent' on account of the crescent shape formed by the surrounding mountains. History lesson over the crazy old coot started cracking his whip all over the show! He gave us a quick lesson on how to do it and sent u off to have a go, he made it look a lot easier than it was. I got a few cracks but it was pretty tedious and ridiculously tiring!

Next cowboy activity on the agenda was the bucking bronco, now obviously they weren't going to chuck us on some deranged bull with an attitude problem but a mechanical monster made do. I was pretty reluctant at first due to the fact the bull didn't look the safest thing in the world and then paired with the fact the bucking motion had revealed slightly more of some people than most of us cared to see. Unfortunately I was challeneged by the Irish, I wasn't going to be shown up, a few drinks more confident I mounted the bull and was soon being thrown all over the place. I lasted all of 6 bucks! As people filtered off to bed, I hit the hay (look at me with all my cowboy speak...) ready for the following day.


Apparently cowboys get up sickeningly early which obviously means that I had to too! Breakfast was an experience, I got my first taste of Vegimite - Australia's answer to Marmite. Let's just say I've never wretched from food apart from baked beans, it was savage and left a lasting impression! The first of the mornings activities was learning how to lassoo a cows skull on a spike, next up was putting these new skills to good use. We got into threes and were led into a pen filled with hundreds of dirty smelly, fornicating goats! Not good. I was with the Irish ladies, one with a lassoo, I was the "tipper" and our final groupie simply had to brand the poor bugger. My job as tipper involved hoisting the goat which had been lassooed and pin it to the ground, it was dirty but pretty fun!


The hope of leaving the mangey goats behind was a fleeting hope as we began our final activity - horseback goat mustering. We saddled up and mounted our beasties, my horse Beau (pronounced by his owner as "buey" - retarded Americans!). He was a legend, started the ride as a farty, grumpy retard but by the end of the ride we made a connection. I had that bad boy trotting all over the show, much to the distress of our guides! So the mustering was tedious and got horrendously boring, we basically hassled a herd of goats from one field to another. The scenery was incredible though, you got such a feeling of freedom atop a horse riding through the Australian bush. Our little adventure concluded with a walk along a little creek and back to the stables.



My time as a cowboy had come to an end and it was back on the bus with our new driver - Disco. The journey was very long and tedious and we pulled into Rainbow Beach in torrential rain, not a good start!